Presentation
Some years ago, an episode of the Cosby Show dealt with the way Denise presented her new husband to the family. This was a teachable moment in acceptance versus presentation.
My name is Fatima Malika Shabazz. I am an African American transwoman currently incarcerated in the gulags of California. I have to on more than one occasion waged war on the facility I'm housed in to be finally put on feminizing hormone treatments. But even with all that I am still not being treated in the manner that you would expect a woman to be treated.
It is great that we can get hormone treatments in the system now. I know I for one am grateful for that. But there is still the problem of presentation. That is, being able to present everyday as a woman beyond the breast growth that comes along with being on hormones.
We are constantly harassed for many reasons on this facility. The question is why. Two years ago, this facility at Cocoran (C-SATF) was designated a transgender hub for medical reasons, mostly because we get hormone shots. Because of this I am at a level 2 facility when I am a level 1 inmate. But beyond all that, I am not all allowed to present as a woman with makeup or my style of dress. I am however required to wear a bra, no problem, BUT, in wearing my bra, I cannot wear a tank top t-shirt unless I alter it so that you cannot see the bra's side underarm panels or the straps peaking out.
If I alter the shirt, which I have to do, I am subject to having it confiscated and being written up for wearing altered clothing. If I wear makeup (hoe made) I am subject to being written up for altering my appearance. All of the canteen items are made for men. We are of course in a "men's prison". So I've been told more than one occasion. This is all tantamount of psychological torture.
We are, for all intents and purposes, women. That is how we all identify. We have all been diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria but we are never allowed to truly act as the women we are, live as the women we are. We are always disrespected. We are such third class citizens that we are considered to have mental disorders because we identify as women but no one says that to the guy who identifies as Al Capone.
We are being denied the right to live as women but really we are being denied the right to properly prepare ourselves for life on the outside as women because of this forced masculinity. Being called sir is disrespectful. Being told you ain't no woman is disrespectful. Being patted down coming out of the dining hall is degrading. Being considered mentally ill because I identify as a woman is also degrading and denigrating. We get hormones and bras because of a law suit not because they really want us to have those things. We are not issued panties because "this is a men's prison". We are not provided with female items in the canteen because we are not considered women. The State of California has NO CLEAR POLICY for how prisons and prison staff should treat transgender inmates and do not seem to be making any real effort to create one.
The medical department. is not concerned with transgender specific care. And even the mental health department does not fully comprehend what we go through psychologically in our daily lives around here. We are often told to put our complaints on paper but we all know that to be useless. So the question remains: when do we get to the point where the mental trauma we suffer through every day will be properly attended to?
I know people view real medical care as something physical but it is not always physical. But to that argument, why does the prison system in any state not pay for sexual reassignment surgery? We know that this can be deemed a medical need, not much different than me needing to have orthoscopic surgery 18 months ago. These are very big mental roadblocks. I go to bed every night wishing I were more physically presentable as a woman. I wake up feeling that way. I go through my day felling that way. Everyday. All day.
Being denied the opportunity to make that a reality is mentally destroying me. And not recognizing that it is mentally destroying me means that the department of corrections is not properly taking care of me in the mental health department which I perceive as a violation of my 8th amendment rights.
Denying me the proper mental health structure to properly prepare for living as a woman in free society is a violation and also allowing the staff to treat me and any transgender person in their care as degenerates unworthy of respect is also cruel and unusual punishment. Until the proper mental health treatments are given, until the proper physical needs are met, we as transgender men and women confined in prison across the nation will be mentally disfigured, emotionally destroyed and unfit to properly live our lives as the women and men we are supposed to be, absent bad presentation.
We all know proper presentation, not just physically, but mentally, and emotionally, and without all of those things in place, cruel and unusual with always be the norm.
My name is Fatima Malika Shabazz. I am an African American transwoman currently incarcerated in the gulags of California. I have to on more than one occasion waged war on the facility I'm housed in to be finally put on feminizing hormone treatments. But even with all that I am still not being treated in the manner that you would expect a woman to be treated.
It is great that we can get hormone treatments in the system now. I know I for one am grateful for that. But there is still the problem of presentation. That is, being able to present everyday as a woman beyond the breast growth that comes along with being on hormones.
We are constantly harassed for many reasons on this facility. The question is why. Two years ago, this facility at Cocoran (C-SATF) was designated a transgender hub for medical reasons, mostly because we get hormone shots. Because of this I am at a level 2 facility when I am a level 1 inmate. But beyond all that, I am not all allowed to present as a woman with makeup or my style of dress. I am however required to wear a bra, no problem, BUT, in wearing my bra, I cannot wear a tank top t-shirt unless I alter it so that you cannot see the bra's side underarm panels or the straps peaking out.
If I alter the shirt, which I have to do, I am subject to having it confiscated and being written up for wearing altered clothing. If I wear makeup (hoe made) I am subject to being written up for altering my appearance. All of the canteen items are made for men. We are of course in a "men's prison". So I've been told more than one occasion. This is all tantamount of psychological torture.
We are, for all intents and purposes, women. That is how we all identify. We have all been diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria but we are never allowed to truly act as the women we are, live as the women we are. We are always disrespected. We are such third class citizens that we are considered to have mental disorders because we identify as women but no one says that to the guy who identifies as Al Capone.
We are being denied the right to live as women but really we are being denied the right to properly prepare ourselves for life on the outside as women because of this forced masculinity. Being called sir is disrespectful. Being told you ain't no woman is disrespectful. Being patted down coming out of the dining hall is degrading. Being considered mentally ill because I identify as a woman is also degrading and denigrating. We get hormones and bras because of a law suit not because they really want us to have those things. We are not issued panties because "this is a men's prison". We are not provided with female items in the canteen because we are not considered women. The State of California has NO CLEAR POLICY for how prisons and prison staff should treat transgender inmates and do not seem to be making any real effort to create one.
The medical department. is not concerned with transgender specific care. And even the mental health department does not fully comprehend what we go through psychologically in our daily lives around here. We are often told to put our complaints on paper but we all know that to be useless. So the question remains: when do we get to the point where the mental trauma we suffer through every day will be properly attended to?
I know people view real medical care as something physical but it is not always physical. But to that argument, why does the prison system in any state not pay for sexual reassignment surgery? We know that this can be deemed a medical need, not much different than me needing to have orthoscopic surgery 18 months ago. These are very big mental roadblocks. I go to bed every night wishing I were more physically presentable as a woman. I wake up feeling that way. I go through my day felling that way. Everyday. All day.
Being denied the opportunity to make that a reality is mentally destroying me. And not recognizing that it is mentally destroying me means that the department of corrections is not properly taking care of me in the mental health department which I perceive as a violation of my 8th amendment rights.
Denying me the proper mental health structure to properly prepare for living as a woman in free society is a violation and also allowing the staff to treat me and any transgender person in their care as degenerates unworthy of respect is also cruel and unusual punishment. Until the proper mental health treatments are given, until the proper physical needs are met, we as transgender men and women confined in prison across the nation will be mentally disfigured, emotionally destroyed and unfit to properly live our lives as the women and men we are supposed to be, absent bad presentation.
We all know proper presentation, not just physically, but mentally, and emotionally, and without all of those things in place, cruel and unusual with always be the norm.
Presentation pt. 2
When we talk about presentation, most often we are talking about the way something or someone looks. People, as rule, are visual, and first impressions are more often than not based on how a person presents themselves long before that person opens their mouth to speak. If you look like you don't care, people will treat you like you don't care.
However, presentation also has a great deal to do with the way you "act" once you've gotten past the visual aspects of a meeting or association. There is a saying, "it's better to be quiet and let people think you a fool then to open your mouth and remove all doubt." I have no idea who coined that phrase but I find it to be very true.
Over the years I have had conversations with people who feel like they are the smartest person in the room when in fact they are eons away from being the smartest person anywhere at any time. These people are geniuses in their own minds and though it is hard to do, you just have to walk away because if you don't then you will waste a mountain of time losing brain cells indulging that conversation.
As a transwoman, I find that presentation is very important in the overall big scheme of things, if only to dispel all the negative stereotypes. Many people view gay and trans people as pretenders to the throne. If you are a gay male, then people expect you to be over animated and flamboyant all the time and yes there are many gay men who are "on" all the time. I see no real reason for that unless you are an entertainer and even then you should not have to be "on" unless you are acutally performing.
In regards to transwomen, people tend to believe that we are only pretending to be women. They negate all of our feelings and all the things we've gone through and are going through to achieve complete transition to womanhood because they don't feel like we are for real about who we are or want to be as if we are "confused" as most people like to call us. Never mind the amount of courage it took just for that girl to tell her family who she really is, all the time spent talking to doctors, taking hormones, having surgeries.
Who in their right mind would go through all of those things willingly just for the "show" of it? I work hard at my physical presentation. I keep my clothing together and my make-up tight. I also work hard at my communication presentation. I am well spoken, I have a massive vocabulary. I am, in fact, a college graduate which in many cases means that I am smarter than a lot of the people who think they have some right to judge me for being who I am, so get over yourself.
Now let's not get confused. I am not extolling all of the great virtues of my transgender community nor am I defending all of my gay brethren. Fact is, many of my so-called sisters are full of shit and their actions and attitudes are the reasons that so many people view all of us in a negative light. I have encountered these people as well. I in fact have had to deal with one person like this on a regular basis.
There are many of us who are disrespectful, inconsiderate and inherently bad spirited. Many of these people have absolutely no idea what being a "woman" is all about. They are not feminine in no way at all and I am not talking about looks. Many biological women do not have complete fem looks, no, what I am talking about is manner: the way they act, the way they speak, how they present themselves to the people they have to deal with on a daily baisis.
These transwomen fly the banner (for lack of a better word) of being transwomen. They want to be treated as women and be respected as women. They demand that stratight and gay peple alike use the proper fem pronouns but they do not offer the same respect to other people nor do they act like women, talk women, nor do they exhibit the dignity of a woman so at which point should they be respected as women? You have to teach people to treat you the way you want to be treated.
With that in mind, how do you expect to demand of others what you are not willing to give yourself? How do you think you can complain about the disresecpt of the transgender community when you contriubte to reinforcing the sterotypes that leave people with so many negative views of transgender life? What and who you say you are ARE different from the actions that "show" who and what you are.
If you say you are a woman then you need to show the respect commiserate of womanhood, act dignified, even in your anger, let your actions show your spirit. Be who you are but not at the cost of the respect due to womanhood.
However, presentation also has a great deal to do with the way you "act" once you've gotten past the visual aspects of a meeting or association. There is a saying, "it's better to be quiet and let people think you a fool then to open your mouth and remove all doubt." I have no idea who coined that phrase but I find it to be very true.
Over the years I have had conversations with people who feel like they are the smartest person in the room when in fact they are eons away from being the smartest person anywhere at any time. These people are geniuses in their own minds and though it is hard to do, you just have to walk away because if you don't then you will waste a mountain of time losing brain cells indulging that conversation.
As a transwoman, I find that presentation is very important in the overall big scheme of things, if only to dispel all the negative stereotypes. Many people view gay and trans people as pretenders to the throne. If you are a gay male, then people expect you to be over animated and flamboyant all the time and yes there are many gay men who are "on" all the time. I see no real reason for that unless you are an entertainer and even then you should not have to be "on" unless you are acutally performing.
In regards to transwomen, people tend to believe that we are only pretending to be women. They negate all of our feelings and all the things we've gone through and are going through to achieve complete transition to womanhood because they don't feel like we are for real about who we are or want to be as if we are "confused" as most people like to call us. Never mind the amount of courage it took just for that girl to tell her family who she really is, all the time spent talking to doctors, taking hormones, having surgeries.
Who in their right mind would go through all of those things willingly just for the "show" of it? I work hard at my physical presentation. I keep my clothing together and my make-up tight. I also work hard at my communication presentation. I am well spoken, I have a massive vocabulary. I am, in fact, a college graduate which in many cases means that I am smarter than a lot of the people who think they have some right to judge me for being who I am, so get over yourself.
Now let's not get confused. I am not extolling all of the great virtues of my transgender community nor am I defending all of my gay brethren. Fact is, many of my so-called sisters are full of shit and their actions and attitudes are the reasons that so many people view all of us in a negative light. I have encountered these people as well. I in fact have had to deal with one person like this on a regular basis.
There are many of us who are disrespectful, inconsiderate and inherently bad spirited. Many of these people have absolutely no idea what being a "woman" is all about. They are not feminine in no way at all and I am not talking about looks. Many biological women do not have complete fem looks, no, what I am talking about is manner: the way they act, the way they speak, how they present themselves to the people they have to deal with on a daily baisis.
These transwomen fly the banner (for lack of a better word) of being transwomen. They want to be treated as women and be respected as women. They demand that stratight and gay peple alike use the proper fem pronouns but they do not offer the same respect to other people nor do they act like women, talk women, nor do they exhibit the dignity of a woman so at which point should they be respected as women? You have to teach people to treat you the way you want to be treated.
With that in mind, how do you expect to demand of others what you are not willing to give yourself? How do you think you can complain about the disresecpt of the transgender community when you contriubte to reinforcing the sterotypes that leave people with so many negative views of transgender life? What and who you say you are ARE different from the actions that "show" who and what you are.
If you say you are a woman then you need to show the respect commiserate of womanhood, act dignified, even in your anger, let your actions show your spirit. Be who you are but not at the cost of the respect due to womanhood.
The way it feels
It's hard sometimes, to attempt explaining how it feels being a woman and not because I identify as transgender and am not a biological woman. Truth be told, I identify as a woman. YOU identify me as transgender, so that's your hang up.
But aside from all of that, let me say this. I love everything, and I do mean absolutely everything about being a woman. I love the way my skin feels after a bubble bath, the silky smooth feel of the fragrant soft pretty smelling lotions and perfumes I wear. I love the feel of silk and satin panties and bras against my skin. I love the way pencil skirts hug my curves and the way pretty dresses flow around my thighs.
When I slip my pedicured toes into a pair of strappy stiletto heels I feel the height of womanly. When the man I'm with holds my hand, opens a door, wraps me in his arms and kisses me softly, I am the personification of woman.
Now, I know that there is far more to being a woman than all the things I've mentioned, but this is just a start. In short, I think being a woman is the greatest thing in the world.
But aside from all of that, let me say this. I love everything, and I do mean absolutely everything about being a woman. I love the way my skin feels after a bubble bath, the silky smooth feel of the fragrant soft pretty smelling lotions and perfumes I wear. I love the feel of silk and satin panties and bras against my skin. I love the way pencil skirts hug my curves and the way pretty dresses flow around my thighs.
When I slip my pedicured toes into a pair of strappy stiletto heels I feel the height of womanly. When the man I'm with holds my hand, opens a door, wraps me in his arms and kisses me softly, I am the personification of woman.
Now, I know that there is far more to being a woman than all the things I've mentioned, but this is just a start. In short, I think being a woman is the greatest thing in the world.
Blood on my hands
It was never my plan to live life with blood on my hands, but my inner city is gritty, filled with death, pain and misery, it's a pitty, you sink so deep you never realize the street you hustling smells so shitty' like that wack ass plea deal the prosecutor just spit at me.
I got blood on my hands because around here all we know is weed sales and pushin rocks, protectin blocks with bodied up glocs, youngstas ready to pop hot shots, maaaan you betta pick your spots or get knocked off your square, cause around here we-don't-care-don't-share, and got no love to spare unless you looking for one of the hookers on the corner or maybe you trying to make your momma another funeral mourner.
I got blood on my hands because these inner city circumstances can turn the best of us into an animal with an eat or be eaten mentality like we cannibals, just call me Hannibal, like Lector Death specter, times up selector, scull & crossbones painted on my 9's shell ejector.
I got this blood on my hands from the machete I keep strapped to my back, soaked in blood from constant hand to hand combat, I'm good at that, fact that I'm still alive should be proof of that, so you should re-think what you thinkin' and think about that, understand, you ain't really a tough guy man, and there's a reason I got blood on my hands.
Livin in the ghetto, life ain't slow and any day may be your day to go so I cut my deal with the devil a long time ago, but until I go Ima keep my heartbeat steady and my gun hand ready. Man I wanna cheat death but that might not be in the creator's plans, got a lotta karma coming for all this blood on my hands.
I got blood on my hands because around here all we know is weed sales and pushin rocks, protectin blocks with bodied up glocs, youngstas ready to pop hot shots, maaaan you betta pick your spots or get knocked off your square, cause around here we-don't-care-don't-share, and got no love to spare unless you looking for one of the hookers on the corner or maybe you trying to make your momma another funeral mourner.
I got blood on my hands because these inner city circumstances can turn the best of us into an animal with an eat or be eaten mentality like we cannibals, just call me Hannibal, like Lector Death specter, times up selector, scull & crossbones painted on my 9's shell ejector.
I got this blood on my hands from the machete I keep strapped to my back, soaked in blood from constant hand to hand combat, I'm good at that, fact that I'm still alive should be proof of that, so you should re-think what you thinkin' and think about that, understand, you ain't really a tough guy man, and there's a reason I got blood on my hands.
Livin in the ghetto, life ain't slow and any day may be your day to go so I cut my deal with the devil a long time ago, but until I go Ima keep my heartbeat steady and my gun hand ready. Man I wanna cheat death but that might not be in the creator's plans, got a lotta karma coming for all this blood on my hands.
Judgement day
You hypocritical heathens keep saying my peoples' demeanor is crude, our vocab rude and the real reason brothas wear their hats down low is to hide eyes that brood; then you vilify with a lie and say we're always in a bad mood, have a murderous attitude, and turn the slightest transgression in a life long blood feud.
But you never hesitate to make statements that exaggerate how much our hearts are filled with hate because we refuse to cooperate with the terrorist friends of the terrorist killer cops that come to fake investigate but for the Black Life we won't negotiate. Know that revolutionaries will never capitulate to your polichickens showin up a dead body late with a bullshit excuse for why an unstable cop used a gun to kill a young king and steal his Royal fate, make his children fatherless and a widow of his Queenly mate. See, all we know is, the gutter is drinking Black blood again and another Black family has to bury their kin because to protect and serve really means -- eliminate Black skin -- like being Black in the land of the free is a cardinal sin; and you enjoy the killing, I can tell by your twisted evil grin, proof that Satan is your carnal friend. Really though, brothas wear their hats down low, trying to be invisible, hoping to go unseen by a hard ass hood life that keeps making us miserable, got us blinded by the flashin light of dying souls - pain- spiritual - migraine - now I'm on my knees beggin God -- PLEASE release me from this strain, tears falling from my eye burn like acid rain. And you call me a beast but you made me this way' now you fear your creation so you mark it for extermination but we won't be goin away, IT'S JUDGEMENT DAY ......... STreet Stories
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First of all, I want to say thank you to the girls at Stella, an organization in Canada that helps the sex workers of their community by providing services that no one else will. They also publish a bulletin called Stella Bulletin that publishes a bad trick list so that workers on these hard ass streets know who to stay away from. I have a great deal of respect for these women, so with that let me say to Anita, Robyn, Val, Valerie, Steph, Celine, Ursula, Pauline and anyone else who helps them, I love all of you, thank you for your generosity, love and support.
I did this because people really do not understand the situation that drives a woman, man or transgender person to work the street as a sex worker. Many of us are there because we want to be there, it is an adventure for us, and at the end of our night we go home to a very different environment than the girls we leave out there, but for some of us this is survival. This is how these girls have to live. How they pay their bills. How they manage to get the feminizing surgeries they need to pass or to become the whole woman they want to be. This shit ain't easy.
We as transwomen are supremely marginalized and quite often not even viewed as people, just as a sexual assignation to be hidden in the darkness of someone's back seat or back alley. In many (if not most) cases poverty is the reason that these girls are on the street, car hopping all night using their bodies to provide some semblance of a life for themselves. Make no mistake the sex industry is an industry, filled with women, men, transwomen and transmen of all races but unless you work in the porno industry you are criminalized for your role in this industry.
Even the most liberal Democrats feels like we are of the most deplorable fiber. That is until one of them has a desire to put his penis in our mouths, or our penis in his mouth. Many of these same moral judges can be found spending an evening pleasuring or being pleasured by a transwoman. Most men, for the most part are attracted to women and as transwomen we are part of that dynamic as well because many men want a woman with something extra. That extra is not always a big butt or boobs. It's a big butt, big boobs and a nice size penis.
Some men are far more content being penetrated by the penis of a transwoman than they are penetrating a woman, trans or otherwise. But when the sun comes up, these same transwomen with their lovely butts and boobs and wonderful penises are made to feel dirty and shameful in the light of day as if we have no value other than to be fucked by some random dick under the cover of the darkness of a back street. Like we are only good enough to be on our knees in a hidden doorway or with our legs up on your back seat for the chicken shit pieces of change that we have to put ourselves at risk to get.
This frame of mind is what causes so many transwomen to be at risk of violence and at risk to catch sexually transmitted illnesses that will kill us long before our time. As long as we are seen this way we will always be in danger and never truly be respected for who we are. We still live in a world where many girls live in an environment so dangerous that even the suspicion of being gay much less transgender will have her family commit Honor Killing. What honor is there in killing your own family member for expressing their fem or masculine side, for being who they really are? Who are you to deny God's creation the right to express themselves and have the audacity to believe that killing that person will gain you some sort of favor with God? What God would even condone such an action?
I am very appreciative of groups like Stella. They allow you to be who you are, no judgements, just help when you need and maybe some advice if the situation warrants it. We as a society have to realize where our strengths are. We really need to elect more openly gay and trans representatives and we need to take to task the current ones and hold them accountable to us for the things that they promise, stop being so damn forgiving. If you can run for office, you should, even if you lose, at least be an inspiration to the gay or trans man or woman who may be able to have a good shot at winning so that we at least can have some real and functional representation and be clear that if they don't do the job we'll vote them out as well.
These politicians work for the people so the people need to be speaking more clearly than we are. I am Fatima Malika Shabazz. I am an African American Transwoman. I will not be disrespected, marginalized, and written off as a statistic. I will not be castigated and called unflattering names and given stereotypical names and terms defining who I am. I will tell you who I am, what my abilities are, my dreams and desires. And you will listen. I have a lot of street stories, and I have no problem telling them.
I did this because people really do not understand the situation that drives a woman, man or transgender person to work the street as a sex worker. Many of us are there because we want to be there, it is an adventure for us, and at the end of our night we go home to a very different environment than the girls we leave out there, but for some of us this is survival. This is how these girls have to live. How they pay their bills. How they manage to get the feminizing surgeries they need to pass or to become the whole woman they want to be. This shit ain't easy.
We as transwomen are supremely marginalized and quite often not even viewed as people, just as a sexual assignation to be hidden in the darkness of someone's back seat or back alley. In many (if not most) cases poverty is the reason that these girls are on the street, car hopping all night using their bodies to provide some semblance of a life for themselves. Make no mistake the sex industry is an industry, filled with women, men, transwomen and transmen of all races but unless you work in the porno industry you are criminalized for your role in this industry.
Even the most liberal Democrats feels like we are of the most deplorable fiber. That is until one of them has a desire to put his penis in our mouths, or our penis in his mouth. Many of these same moral judges can be found spending an evening pleasuring or being pleasured by a transwoman. Most men, for the most part are attracted to women and as transwomen we are part of that dynamic as well because many men want a woman with something extra. That extra is not always a big butt or boobs. It's a big butt, big boobs and a nice size penis.
Some men are far more content being penetrated by the penis of a transwoman than they are penetrating a woman, trans or otherwise. But when the sun comes up, these same transwomen with their lovely butts and boobs and wonderful penises are made to feel dirty and shameful in the light of day as if we have no value other than to be fucked by some random dick under the cover of the darkness of a back street. Like we are only good enough to be on our knees in a hidden doorway or with our legs up on your back seat for the chicken shit pieces of change that we have to put ourselves at risk to get.
This frame of mind is what causes so many transwomen to be at risk of violence and at risk to catch sexually transmitted illnesses that will kill us long before our time. As long as we are seen this way we will always be in danger and never truly be respected for who we are. We still live in a world where many girls live in an environment so dangerous that even the suspicion of being gay much less transgender will have her family commit Honor Killing. What honor is there in killing your own family member for expressing their fem or masculine side, for being who they really are? Who are you to deny God's creation the right to express themselves and have the audacity to believe that killing that person will gain you some sort of favor with God? What God would even condone such an action?
I am very appreciative of groups like Stella. They allow you to be who you are, no judgements, just help when you need and maybe some advice if the situation warrants it. We as a society have to realize where our strengths are. We really need to elect more openly gay and trans representatives and we need to take to task the current ones and hold them accountable to us for the things that they promise, stop being so damn forgiving. If you can run for office, you should, even if you lose, at least be an inspiration to the gay or trans man or woman who may be able to have a good shot at winning so that we at least can have some real and functional representation and be clear that if they don't do the job we'll vote them out as well.
These politicians work for the people so the people need to be speaking more clearly than we are. I am Fatima Malika Shabazz. I am an African American Transwoman. I will not be disrespected, marginalized, and written off as a statistic. I will not be castigated and called unflattering names and given stereotypical names and terms defining who I am. I will tell you who I am, what my abilities are, my dreams and desires. And you will listen. I have a lot of street stories, and I have no problem telling them.
What you need to know
My name is Fatima Malika Shabazz. I am an African American transwoman. I was raised and bread in Brooklyn, New York. I now live in Los Angeles after moving her from Atlanta G.A. What you really need to know is that this world is hard as hell for people, period, but for people like me, it is down right dangerous. See, there was a time in this country when just being Black was enough to get you killed and believe me there are still parts of this country where that is still the case, which is evidenced by the number of African American men shot down by vigilantes and the storm trooper police departments that seem to be hell bent on the extermination of minorities.
However, if you multiply all the other factors just being Black may be arguably safer. Look at the number of my GLBTQ family that over the last few years have committed suicide because they were bullied for being who they are, in a land that was established based on people being able to be who they are freely. Is that not was the U.S. Constitution is about? If so then why was CeCe McDonald in prison? She was harrassed and then attacked by a groupd of bad spirited hateful bigoted people, and had to defend herself. For that she was turned into the aggressor and charged, convicted, and put in prison. Her only crime - - being a transwoman.
CeCe was put into prison because we are seen as an abomination and as such, undeserving of real justice, and yes, she is African American. In a society where a great woman like Laverne Cox can gain fame for her role in Orange is the New Black and her activism go virtually unheard of, what does it say about The Land of the Free? It says we are free to be who we are as long as who we are is behind closed doors. Transwomen are often harrassed by police and accused of being prostitutes, no matter what time of the day or night we are out and about. It is evident that people are more inclined to continue to reinforce negative stereotypes than they are to see us as women living our lives as best we can.
Yet we are still among the 3 million inmates in America's prisons who are brutalized, raped, disrespected, locked away in solitary and not even recognized as women. Housed with homophobic men and staff who are never held accountable to anyone for their harmful and destructive behavior towards the GLBTQ inmates, especially transgender inmates.
So, with this in mind, it is no wonder many of my family leave prison more broken than they were when they came in. But I'm here to tell you what you need to know... WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW is that there are many many transwomen and men in this country's prisons who are very talented and intelligent, and all they need, like any man or woman in a prison is to be respected and given an opportunity to get their feet planted on solid ground. These men and women want the same thing which is basically to live the so-called American Dream, to fall in love, have a home and a family, a career, and to be able to live in the words that were given to this country by it's forefathers, IN THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.
Trust me there is an infinite amount of shit you need to know, and as Fatima Speaks, she'll tell it to ya.....
However, if you multiply all the other factors just being Black may be arguably safer. Look at the number of my GLBTQ family that over the last few years have committed suicide because they were bullied for being who they are, in a land that was established based on people being able to be who they are freely. Is that not was the U.S. Constitution is about? If so then why was CeCe McDonald in prison? She was harrassed and then attacked by a groupd of bad spirited hateful bigoted people, and had to defend herself. For that she was turned into the aggressor and charged, convicted, and put in prison. Her only crime - - being a transwoman.
CeCe was put into prison because we are seen as an abomination and as such, undeserving of real justice, and yes, she is African American. In a society where a great woman like Laverne Cox can gain fame for her role in Orange is the New Black and her activism go virtually unheard of, what does it say about The Land of the Free? It says we are free to be who we are as long as who we are is behind closed doors. Transwomen are often harrassed by police and accused of being prostitutes, no matter what time of the day or night we are out and about. It is evident that people are more inclined to continue to reinforce negative stereotypes than they are to see us as women living our lives as best we can.
Yet we are still among the 3 million inmates in America's prisons who are brutalized, raped, disrespected, locked away in solitary and not even recognized as women. Housed with homophobic men and staff who are never held accountable to anyone for their harmful and destructive behavior towards the GLBTQ inmates, especially transgender inmates.
So, with this in mind, it is no wonder many of my family leave prison more broken than they were when they came in. But I'm here to tell you what you need to know... WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW is that there are many many transwomen and men in this country's prisons who are very talented and intelligent, and all they need, like any man or woman in a prison is to be respected and given an opportunity to get their feet planted on solid ground. These men and women want the same thing which is basically to live the so-called American Dream, to fall in love, have a home and a family, a career, and to be able to live in the words that were given to this country by it's forefathers, IN THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.
Trust me there is an infinite amount of shit you need to know, and as Fatima Speaks, she'll tell it to ya.....